Battle of the Sexes
by iNsAnE nO bAkA
Summary: Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini's documentary of the first gender war that has totally divided the school. slash of the DracoHarry kind. BlaiseSeamus HermioneRon AU because disregards after 3rd Book....
1. Intro

Battle of the Sexes  
  
Written and published by Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini  
  
This documentary has been made by two neutrals in the first ever war between the sexes at Hogwarts. There have been battles, but never one that divided the school like this. Even the teachers joined the war. And it all started exactly one month ago, when Ginny Weasley was seen reading a book by the infamous Gilderoy Lockhart.... 


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Not mine!!! Poor, poor, poor me! –wails unhappily-

A/N: Thanks ever soooo much to my beta!!!!!!

Chapter 1

It was Monday, the bane of all days, the start of the first school day of the week. Draco Malfoy was sitting at the Slytherin table, waiting for his best female friend to enter the Great Hall. He snickered when he saw the Weasel trying frantically to copy off of Granger. He and Granger had come to an understanding. It helped that he was beating her is some of their classes, like Potions, Arithmancy, and DADA. It had been very amusing to see the looks on their faces when they found out who was leading in Defense. He sighed, irritated, and stabbed his eggs. Where on earth was Blaise? All of a sudden, a loud crash was heard from the Gryffindor table.

"Ronald Weasley!! Give me back my book!" Ginny screeched, angrily. She reached over to her brother and tried to snatch it back from him. Unfortunately, she was a bit too short to reach him.

"What in Merlin's name are you reading, Gin?" he asked, curiously. He flipped the book to a random page and began reading it out loud.

"Celestia, will you be mine forever? Only look at me, cook for me, and clean for me? Yes, yes! Only for you, Amour! And Celestia swooned in her lover's arms as he carried her to their bedroom." He couldn't help but let out a snort of derision. "What kind of rubbish is this? Who on earth would read this trash?" At that, he had every female in the Hall glaring daggers at him.

"It is NOT rubbish, Ronald Weasley!" snapped Hermione, insulted. Ron looked at her in amazement.

"Don't tell me, you read Lockhart's books as well." said Ron, scathingly. Hermione bristled angrily.

"As a matter of fact, I do read his books." she answered, haughtily.

Ron couldn't help but gape at her. "You read this rubbish?" he demanded, stupefied.

"Yes. And it is not rubbish. Mr. Lockhart's books are so wonderfully written and so romantic," she sighed.

Ron goggled at her. He couldn't believe she would read that stuff. He turned to Harry. "Hey, mate, can you believe that anyone would read stuff by Lockhart?"

"Uh, no?" Harry replied, meekly. He cringed, waiting for the inevitable explosion. Sure enough, Hermione didn't disappoint.

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT, HARRY POTTER?!" she demanded, furious. "WHY IS IT SO HARD TO BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE WOULD WANT TO READ LOCKHART'S BOOKS?"

"MAYBE BECAUSE HE'S A STUPID GIT! HE COULDN'T WRITE A GOOD BOOK EVEN IF IT CAME AND BIT HIM ON THE ARSE! HIS BOOKS AREN'T ROMANTIC, THEY'RE RUBBISH! COMPLETE POPPYCOCK!" Ron bellowed.

"THAT'S IT, RONALD WEASLEY! YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT ROMANCE IS, EVEN IF IT DANCED IN FRONT OF YOU NAKED!" she shrieked.

"ROMANCE IS OVERATED ANYWAYS! GIRLS ARE JUST TOO EMOTIONAL! NO WONDER THEY ARE CONSIDERED THE WEAKER SEX!" he hollered.

"WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU?! WEAKER SEX? HA! BOYS ARE JUST TOO DUMB TO APPRECIATE THE FINE BEAUTY OF ROMANCE! EMOTIONALLY, BOYS ARE THE WEAKER SEX!" she screamed.

"GIRLS ARE!" Ron howled. "ISN'T THAT RIGHT GUYS?"

"YEAH!" shouted all of the boys, except for Draco.

"OH YEAH? BOYS ARE!" Hermione screeched.

"YEAH!" shouted all of the girls, except for the absent Blaise.

"OH YEAH?"

"YEAH!"

"BOYS ARE STRONGER THAN WEAKLING GIRLS!"

"IS THAT SO? GIRLS ARE SMARTER, PERCEPTIVE, AND MORE AGILE THAN BOYS!"

"HAH! AS IF! YOU GIRLS WOULD'T LAST A DAY WITHOUT US BOYS AROUND TO PROTECT YOU!"

"FAT CHANCE, WEASLEY! IN FACT, LET'S SEE IF YOUR BOAST IS TRUE! THIS IS WAR!"

Hermione began to lead the girls out of the room. However, Ron began to lead the boys out as well. It became a race to see who would get to the door first. The boys reached the door right before the girls and grinned smugly. However, their grins were wiped off their faces when Hermione stomped hard on Ron's foot and swept out the door. Every girl followed her actions and made sure to stomp hard on all of the boys' feet. By the time the last girl walked out the door, all of the boys were hopping on one foot, yelling bloody murder. At that exact moment, Blaise walked into the room. She stared at the hopping boys and sauntered over to where Draco was sitting.

"So, what did I miss?" she drawled, mildly curious. Draco grinned, wickedly.

"The chance to have our names in 'Hogwarts, a History' and witness the most entertaining spectacle ever in our seven years at Hogwarts," he replied, highly amused.

--------------------------------------------------------

At the teachers' table, all of the professors were talking about what to do next.

"I think we should just give Granger detention for starting a spectacle," sneered Severus.

"Why only Ms. Granger, Severus?" Minerva asked, suspiciously.

"Because she was making a fool of herself. Everyone knows that Weasley is right," replied Severus, though hating to admit that Weasley was right about something.

"What?! I believe Ms. Granger is right." Minerva said, icily. Sparks flew between the two as they glared at each other.

"I do believe you are wrong, Minerva. Girls are the weaker sex, always whining or moping about something," Severus said, silkily.

"Is that so? Well, boys are always fighting and arguing about the silliest things. Girls at least have the good sense to know that violence doesn't solve everything." Minerva replied, coldly. Albus quickly intervened before things could get bloody.

"I believe we should settle this matter once and for all. This war will only go on for a week. We will split the school up into two separate areas—one for boys and the other for the girls—so they won't try anything in the commons. To make sure that nothing dangerous will happen, we will make this a school event. Only one prank a day may be pulled outside of classes. Whoever manages to pull the most pranks, will win. The rest of the war will be in the classrooms. At the end of the week, we will award the winning sex a trophy and issue smaller trophies for individuals. Do you agree?" said Albus, eyes twinkling like mad.

"Fine," said both the Gryffindor Head and Slytherin Head, infuriated. They both stalked out of the Hall, refusing to talk to each other. Albus chuckled. He noticed the two remaining students and called them up to the table.

"Mr. Malfoy and Ms. Zabini. Why aren't you preparing for battle?" he inquired, cheerfully.

"With all due respect Headmaster, we would rather be a neutral party and record everything. All the pranks, looks, verbal spars, and points. That way we can write about it and publish it in 'Hogwarts, a History'." said Draco, smoothly.

"Ah yes! What a wonderful idea, Mr. Malfoy. Do carry on," replied Albus, delighted.

And so, the first ever Battle of the Sexes began.


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own!!!!! -crouches on floor- Don't hurt me... I'm just playing... ;-;

Chapter 2

"Soooo," Blaise said, idly drawing circles with her foot. "What was that all about?" Draco looked at her, still amused and even excited. That really sparked her attention. Draco never got excited, unless of course, he was mooning after the friggin' Boy-Who-Would-Not-Drop-Dead. She snickered. Draco would kill her if he found out what she was thinking. Draco looked at her, not sure why she was snickering.

"What's so funny, Blaise?" he demanded impatiently. Blaise looked innocently at him and remembered that she wanted to know what was going on.

"Draconis Solaris Malfoy!" she screeched. "What in the seven seas is going on?!" He winced at the shrillness of her voice. He then remembered and started to laugh evilly. Blaise started to get a tad bit, okay really, annoyed and smacked him hard on the arm. Draco winced in pain and held his arm protectively.

"What was that for?" he whined, sulkily. Blaise glared at him and raised her hand again. Draco flinched and stepped as far away as possible.

"Fine. Because you were so late," he glared at her, "you missed an interesting debate about whether or not Lockharts' books are rubbish or not between our resident Weasel and the Bookworm."

"Oooh!" squealed Blaise. "Granger must have been P.O.ed!" At Draco's confused look, she clarified her statement. "Pissed Off." Draco shook his head, annoyed.

"You really shouldn't have visited the blasted USA. It's turned you positively barbaric!" he said. Blaise pouted at his words.

"Whatever!" she said petulantly. "Well? Finish your explanation!"

"All right, woman!" he grumbled. "Anyways, the Weasel began going on and on about how Lockharts' books are trash and Granger began to refute his arguments. It then blew up into a huge debate on which gender is weaker.

Personally, I believe that females are weaker than males but that's not the point." Blaise looked a bit annoyed at being called weak.

"Then what is the point?" she snapped. Draco rolled his eyes at her fit of childish anger.

"The point is, we could make a bundle selling this story to the press or publisher. This is how we are going to do it. I'll find out what the boys' plans are and you are going to find out the girls' plans. We will meet at the Great Hall every morning to compare notes. We are also going to record who wins the prank war and who wins the academic war, as well as how they won-you know, what pranks they played. Get good pictures- as embarrassing as possible! We might as well see what is going on in the two 'war camps'. Meet you here tomorrow morning?" he said.

"Sure! And you're right, Drake! This is going to be good!" squealed Blaise, excited. "Get some good pictures of the boys as well. I wouldn't mind pictures of a buff Finnegan. Hint, hint."

Draco rolled his eyes again. "Don't call me Drake! And what's so great about Finnegan? He's just a skinny Irish brat." Blaise bristled.

"Yeah? Well, Potter's not that great as well! Sure he has a great body, and his arse is tight! And he has those gorgeous green eyes and pouty lips and...Ugh! Fine! Potter is way better than Finnegan but he doesn't have Finnegan's sense of humor!" said Blaise. She watched, amused, as Draco had began to drool over her description of Potter. He regained his composure and glared at her.

"Just get to work!" he barked, stalking away.

"Love you too, Drake!" she called, laughing.

Review!!!!!!!!!!! Please?


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Again, me no own. If I did, I'd be richer than the Queen...

Chapter 3

Blaise was still laughing when she reached the new girls' dorm. When she entered the new girls only common, she began to laugh harder at how silly the assembled girls looked. All of the girls had taken to wearing 'rebel with a cause' clothing under their school robes, but since a lot of them were purebloods (who would never wear less than two layers of clothes) or bookworms/nerds, they didn't quite pull it off. Instead, they looked like little girls playing dress-up with their mommy's' clothes--or just victims of bad fashion.

"This is the fashion police, hands up in the air and strip! You have do not have the right to remain clothed. Any clothing you do possess will be confiscated and evaluated-and eventually burned." Blaise said, in an authoritative kind of voice. She then began to get critical, big time. "How in the world can you wear THAT? It clashes horribly with your pants, hon. That shade of red with your hair color? Uh, uh. Where have you been hiding that thing? In the sixties? Those pants have GOT to go. That style went out a looong time ago, luv. Purple streaks in that type of hair? And that broad? And an all purple leather ensemble? You'd be lucky if you didn't look like a grape! Whoa! Where's my pair of sunglasses?! That red lipstick is way too bright for your coloring. You all need professional help- desperately." Parvati and Lavender were pissed off with the blonde; after all, they consider themselves to be experts in fashion.

"Well, then Ms. Snooty-Faced-I-Know-All-About-Fashion, what should we do?" demanded Lavender, icily. Blaise smiled sweetly at the brown-haired girl.

"First of all, I suggest getting your head checked. Second of all, I suggest you get professional help. Third of all, it's Ms. Snooty-Faced-I-Know-All-About-Fashion And-I-Can-Kick-Your-Arse-Anytime-I-Want. Capeesh?" she replied, in a sweet but venomous voice. Lavender bristled, though a bit intimidated by the other girl.

"And just who is your expert?" she demanded, daggers shooting from her eyes.

Blaise rolled her eyes, irritated at how dense the other girl is. "I already called my expert. And here he is now! Ladies and Sluts (I especially mean you, Brown.) I would like to introduce you to...Draco Malfoy! Yay! Three Cheers for Draco! Hip Hip Hooray! Hip Hip-" said Blaise but was cut off by Draco.

"Thank you Blaise for that...interesting...introduction. My, my! Blaise was right! You all need help, desperately!" said Draco, observing the now horrified girls.

"What are you doing here?!" shrieked Hermione, blushing like crazy. He grinned, wickedly, before replying. "Why, getting photographs for our documentary!" he replied cheerfully. He watched as all of the girls began to scream in righteous outrage, laughing maniacally.

"Who gave you permission to take pictures?" Ginny demanded. Draco smirked, smugly, at the irate girl.

"Why, the Headmaster, of course!" he said, amused. "Dumbledore said it was a good idea, so we are going to document this war!" Hermione glared at him but he wasn't quite affected by it. After all, he was the King of Glares. After Professor Snape, of course.

"And how do we know you won't betray our secrets to the boys?" she demanded, coldly.

"No need to worry, Granger. Blaise and I are neutral in this war. She'll know everything I know and vice versa, so you don't have to worry about your precious secrets," he replied defensively. Hermione sighed and gave up.

"Fine. I hate to admit it, but Blaise is correct. However, if I find out that you leaked, Malfoy, you are going. To. Regret. It. Is. That. Clear?" she said, punctuating the end of each sentence with a jab in his direction. Draco gulped, all to clearly remembering the times when she had slapped him.

"Crystal," he replied, sweetly. He then became businesslike. "Weaselette! If you want to wear red, wear a shade that is really dark. I mean really dark!

Almost black. Pansy, dear, you definitely fit the cliché of the 'dumb' blonde. Honestly! Combat pants with a neon pink halter? Where are your senses, woman! If you want the combat pants, wear a black, glittery halter. Go for mysterious, not ditzy! Brown! What are you trying to do?! Blind someone?! I assure you, people can see that red all the way from London! Try a deeper, sensual red; not a stop-right-there red! Granger! If you want to keep those pants, slit the sides and lace them with blue ribbons. If you don't want to, get rid of them! Lovegood! Either have purple hair or purple shirt or purple pants, not all of them at the same time! Do you want to be mistaken as a human grape? No? Than lose the clothes!" He began to look over their wardrobe, tossing things left and right. "Are you trying to make a statement? Look the same, yet different? If so, go for low-riding jeans and a halter. It doesn't matter how it's cut or what color it is, just wear the same type of clothes, but add your own flair. Do you understand?" Everyone nodded, stunned at how precise he was. "Now then, I should get going. I'm probably missing something very important. Ta ta!" he waved good-bye and sauntered out the door. The silence was broken by Blaise, who didn't even notice it.

"Well, now that that's over, how 'bout some chocolate?" she said, cheerfully. They noticed that there were a lot of wrappers littering the place and stared at her fearfully. A hyper Blaise Zabini is not a good thing-or was it? A light bulb went off in Hermione's mind. She beckoned to Blaise and smiled sweetly at her.

"Oh Bla-aise!" she said, innocently. "Do you have any ideas on what we should do to the mean, nasty boys?" Blaise frowned, before responding.

"Mean, nasty boys? Where? Do not despair! Blaise Zabini is here! We must punish those bad, bad boys! I wonder how they would react to having donkey ears and tails," she mused, cackling evilly. Hermione grinned, elated, at the idea.

"You are a genius!" she crowed. "Now this is what we will do. Strike before they do! First, we'll need some volunteers! Ginny? Great! And a second one? Lavender? Perfect! Now this is what we will do."

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	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Heh heh heh....Do I look like I own it?!?! No?! Then...okay!

Chapter 4

"Shh!" hissed Ginny when Lavender's giggles became too loud, again. Ginny wished for the hundredth time that Lavender didn't volunteer with her. The two of them had received the hardest part of the prank: actually getting into the boys' side and planting it into the boys' dorm. She could hear them talking in their bathroom underneath her and began to think of what will happen to them if the boys caught them. She shivered and hoped fervently that they won't get caught.

"Ginny, when are we going to finish?" whined Lavender. "I have a very important meeting to get to. Parvati, Pansy, and I are going to compare which hairstyles go better with our new outfits!" Make that a hundred and one times. Ginny rolled her eyes.

"Lavender, why in Merlin's name did you volunteer to come if you can't stay the whole night?" replied Ginny, sweetly. Lavender looked startled.

"We're going to stay all night?" she demanded, raising her voice a bit. Ginny sighed.

"Shh! Maybe. I'm not sure. It depends on whether or not they'll go to sleep soon. Well? Why did you come?" she repeated.

"To scope out the guys, of course! I mean, this is, like, a huge opportunity to see them at night! When they are getting ready for bed!" Lavender squealed. Ginny rolled her eyes again and began to chant a mantra: 'I will not shove Lavender out. I will not shove Lavender out. I will NOT shove Lavender out!' She gritted her teeth as she heard Lavender gush about all of the cute guys. Her mantra became even louder when she heard Lavender go on about Dean, the guy Ginny was seeing. Her thoughts screeched to a halt when she heard her talk about a fantasy involving Dean and whipped cream. With a shriek of outrage, she lunged at the startled girl and shoved her out of the ventilation shaft. (AN: pretend the house elves use them to do, um, stuff.) While the boys swarmed over to Lavender, who was busy screaming her head off, Ginny scurried to the dorm and fastened the spell over the door. She didn't know that a certain stormy-eyed boy was sitting on his favorite chair, recording everything that was going on. He laughed evilly, and Ginny whipped her head around, horrified.

"My dear Weaselette. Now, just what do you think you are doing?" he inquired, sneering at the trembling girl.

"Um...uh..." she stuttered, trying desperately to find a way out. Draco just looked at her, amused.

"You had better leave before everyone comes in," he said, smirking. "By the way, how do you propose getting all of the boys to be affected by your spell? You had better combine the spell with a concealment charm that will last until morning. After all, you don't want them to find a way to take it off." Ginny looked confused at the advice before remembering that he was a 'neutral' recorder.

"Thanks Drake!" she chirped, before doing exactly what he said. Draco gaped at her, outraged and secretly impressed by the audaciousness of the titan haired girl. Before he could say anything, she disappeared up the ventilation shaft. A few minutes later, everyone came in talking about Lavender. They didn't notice the spell, shining above them. Draco couldn't help but start laughing as the last person entered the dorms. This made the Gryffindor seventh year boys suspicious, but they just shrugged and entered the door leading to their beds. Draco quickly remembered that Blaise wanted some pictures of Finnegan, and if she didn't get them...well, let's just say it wouldn't be pretty. He knocked on their door and entered, without waiting for a reply. He stopped dead in his tracks at the sight before him and began to laugh even more.

"What's so funny, Malfoy?" demanded Ron, annoyed. The fiery-tempered boy was sitting on his bed, using his chess pieces to figure out their next move. The thing is, he had cut out the faces of some of the girls--namely Ginny and Hermione-and pasted them onto the chess pieces. "And what do you want?"

"Nothing," gasped Draco, trying desperately to stop laughing. "And I want Finnegan." He didn't notice that Harry had been watching him when he had entered the room or the black glare thrown at Seamus, who gulped, terrified.

"Why do you want me?" Seamus asked, meekly. He wondered if he'll have to transfer to a different school--make that a different country! Everyone in Gryffindor--in fact, the whole school except Draco--knew that Harry had claimed the Ice Prince of Slytherin. Draco rolled his eyes.

"I'm not going to eat you," the pale boy said, dismissively. "I received a request from someone to get pictures of you. That's all I want." Seamus sighed with relief.

"All right. Where do you want me?" he asked, flirtatiously. It was a known fact that Seamus would shag anyone--girl or boy. He blanched, however, as he felt Harry's glare drilling into him. Draco looked startled, as the hangings on the bed began to shake, but blamed it on the wind.

"I don't want you anywhere," he replied, thinking how Blaise would kill him if he even thought about touching the sandy-haired Irishman. Fortunately, he was head over heels for certain green-eyed boy. "A certain girl would love to have you in her bed-the catch, if your desires roam to someone else, it'll get ugly. For the purposes of your pictures, try the bed." He sighed at the stupidity and hentainess (AN: is that even a word?) of the Irishman, before glaring at him. "Well!" he barked. "I don't have all night!"

"All right," Seamus grumbled. "Keep your pants on!" Uh oh, wrong thing to say. Harry stalked over to where Seamus was and dragged him outside to have a 'little' talk.

(Outside their room)

"Seamus, my dear, dear friend. I know it's in your nature to flirt with every living thing on earth but, STAY. AWAY. FROM. DRACO! HE. IS. MINE!" hissed Harry, extremely angry at the impish Irishman. Seamus quickly backed away from the irate boy, hands up defensively.

"Now, Harry, old chap. You know I didn't mean anything by it," he said, nervously. Harry sighed, raking his hand through his hair.

"I know you didn't, Seam. It's just really hard, to see him, to have him close by, but not to touch him." said Harry, softly. Seamus stared at him, sympathetically.

"It's okay, mate. I'm sure it isn't that hopeless," said Seamus. He suddenly grinned, mischievously. "Let old Seamus fix things up, 'kay?" With that, the sandy-haired boy bounded back into the room, humming cheerfully. Harry followed, dreading what would come next. This was way too much for him-the war against one of his best friends, who was practically his sister, and figuring out what Seamus was up to.

Review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A/N: If anyone has ideas.....tell me!!!


	6. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I already said I didn't own it!!!!!!!!!!! Leave me awone!! Mwahahahahaha!!! Mine! Mine! Just ignore the fact that they belong to Rowling!

A/N:Thanks ever so much to me new beta!!! Thankies!!!!

Chapter 5

-The Next Morning-

"Soooo....what happened at the boys' side?" asked Blaise. She was tapping her quill against the table in the Great Hall, irritated that nothing interesting has happened yet. Draco smirked, extremely amused. He could still remember the chess figures and their new faces. (A/N: Back in chapter 4...I think...)

"Here are your sodding pictures, Blaise." he drawled, tossing the packet at the girl. Blaise squealed happily as she held the packet to her. She then hurled herself at the unsuspecting boy, glomping him in a patented Blaise Hug, just as everyone piled into the Great Hall. Everyone froze at the sight, before glancing nervously at Harry. To their surprise, he didn't do anything but walked calmly to the boys' side of the Hall. Everyone shrugged before sitting down and watching the two neutrals.

"Blaise! I demand you get off of me now!" hissed Draco, angrily. The two of them were quite oblivious to the others. "Did you not here me? Off! Now!" Blaise pouted before complying with the blonde's demands.

"Fine, you big poopie head! I was just saying thanks," she whimpered, pretending to be hurt. Draco sighed before forcing himself to pat her on her shoulder.

"You are welcome, Blaise, but next time, do not touch me." he ordered, annoyed. She grinned happily before complying with his direct request. "When did they all arrive?" Blaise demanded, curiously. Draco shrugged, but before he could answer, the concealment charm expired and the results of last nights' prank appeared. All of the girls, and some of the teachers, began to laugh like crazy at the sight of the boys with donkey ears and tail. The boys had no clue why everyone was laughing until they looked at each other. Their mouths dropped and stared, stunned and horrified, before fixing an extremely scary look on their female counterparts.

"Oooh. That's it. We were going to be nice and gentle with you but now...now this means war!" fumed Ron, furious. At the sound of a camera click, he shot to his feet and glared at Draco and Blaise. "Malfoy! Zabini! Give me those! I swear, by Merlin, that if you post those pictures, I'll have your heads!" Draco and Blaise smirked, evilly, before replying.

"Lookie here, Drake," Blaise drawled. "Looks like Weasley is trying to threaten us." Draco grinned, wickedly, before replying.

"You're right, Blaise. Whatever should we do?" he purred, sinfully. All of the girls, and some of the boys, practically melted at his tone of voice, but Harry was the one who was affected the most. Blaise grinned before whipping out.............. a baseball bat. At that, the whole hall stared, stupefied. Draco sighed before grabbing the bat out of Blaise's hand.

"While it would be quite entertaining to see you chase the Weasel around with the bat, I rather you didn't get detention for the rest of the year. After all, I rely on you to alleviate my boredom," Draco drawled. Blaise beamed happily at the 'compliment', before fixing the blonde Slytherin a look.

"What do you mean 'alleviate my boredom'?" she demanded, suspiciously. Draco just smirked before getting up from the table.

"I'll see you in Potions, Blaise." was all he said as he sauntered out of the Great Hall. Blaise pouted, thinking that she had been insulted but couldn't affirm the fact. However, she forgot all of that when a certain Irish Gryffindor plopped down next to her.

"Yo, Finnegan! Whut up?" she crowed, elatedly. Seamus looked confused and looked up at the ceiling.

"Uh, the sky?" ventured Seamus, hesitantly. Blaise sighed, before trying to explain the American greeting to the sandy-haired boy.

"No, no, no, me homey. Whut up means what's happening, what's going on, clear?" she demanded. Seamus stared at the insane Slytherin before replying.

"Homey?" he inquired. "I don't think that the Great Hall reminds me of my home." Blaise sighed again before dismissing the conversation.

"Never mind. What do you want?" she demanded, slightly irritated that no one knows what she is talking about. Seamus grinned, before leaning in to tell her of his master plan to get Harry and Malfoy together. Blaise squealed to hear that Potter loves Draco, before agreeing to help Seamus. After all, she's insuring Draco's future happiness, while getting close to her crush, and getting paid to write the most interesting school battle ever. What more can a girl ask for? Operation Get-Harry-And-Malfoy-Together (aka Get-Draco-To-FINALLY-Admit-His-Repressed-Feelings-For-The-Bloody-Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Die) has begun.

Review!!!!!!!!! I'll give you cookies!

A/N2: I need ideas!!!! Anything you wanna see?

Thank you everyone who has ever reviewed this!! I wuve you!!!!!!!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I think everyone already knows that Harry Potter does NOT belong to me...enough said.

AN: I am sooooooooooooooo, soooooooooooooooo, sooooooooo sorry! I know it's been a long time and I think I've lost people (that I've never had...(.;;)) but for everyone who is following this fic, I swear that it will be finished. Eventually. I hope.

* * *

Chapter 6

So far, Operation Get-Harry-And-Malfoy-Together (aka Get-Draco-To-FINALLY-Admit-His-Repressed-Feelings-For-The-Bloody-Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Die) was a complete failure. Blaise was practically growling as she reviewed the events of the day.

* * *

-Potions Lab-

The boys and girls sat in the Potions Lab glaring at each other, the boys enraged at the underhandedness of the girls in pulling the first prank. Yet, they WILL get EVEN! This was the one time that Slytherin and Gryffindor seemed to be getting along. Blaise couldn't help but wonder if Hell has frozen over yet. 'If an irate Devil was going to be after them, it'll completely ruin everything!' was all she could think. Everyone started when the door slammed open and Severus stormed in, his robes flaring around him. He had been dreading this class because it will force him to play nice to "the insufferable Potter and Weasley duo." Yet, for the sake of men everywhere, he shall do it. He shall award points (gasp!) to...Potter. Even if (and it probably will) it kills him.

"Listen up. I shall be placing you in groups to complete this next potion. Whichever pair wins first, will receive 30 points to his side. What Miss Granger?" He barked glaring at the girl since she had her hand raised. Hermione was a bit intimidated but didn't let that affect her.

"Don't you mean her side?" she asked bravely. "Or at least their side. There's gender inequality when you automatically assume that a male pair will win." Severus sneered at her before returning to his list.

"Fine Miss Granger. Their side. Happy now? Back to the pairings! And don't interrupt me again unless you want to loose 15 points from the Girls." Severus snarled. "Weasley and Goyle. Crabbe and Nott. Granger and Patil. Brown and Parkinson. Thomas and Finnegan. Longbottom and Worthington. Potter and Malfoy. Zabini and McDougal." He listed all of the pairings, determined to get this over with. "Today we are to make a simple Attraction potion that is sold in stores for blithering idiots who can't ask a person out normally. Instead, she has to rely on the Attraction potion to catch a man." At this, Hermione looked murderous at how Snape was being so biased--and this timefavoring the boys! "Now get to work!"

Harry was quite delighted, though he tried not to show it, that he had Draco as a partner. He didn't know why he couldn't tell the beautiful blond but any moment he had with him was heaven. "So Draco. Shall I get the ingredients then?" he asked rather shyly. Draco stared at him, a bit confused as to how Potter was acting, and just nodded. Draco assumed that Potter wanted to win the competition and that's why there's an unannounced truce going on. Harry beamed before heading towards the cupboard to gather the ingredients needed to make the potion.

Blaise watched the proceedings with great interest, barely noticing that Morag, her partner, was creating the wrong potion. But that didn't matter to her. After all, the interaction between Draco and Potter was far more important than making an Attraction Potion. Unknown to her, Hermione was plotting to disrupt Harry and Malfoy's potion. Everyone knew that Malfoy was an undisputed master at Potions making and she was determined that they did not finish it. Hermione's Slytherin side, one hidden quite deep for shame of being found out, was emerging and it was not boding well for the boys. The two boys seemed to be getting quite well as they worked on the Attraction Potion, actually having a pleasant conversation, when Hermione sidled her way up to their cauldron and tossed in some ground fairy wings. Of course, adding ground fairy wings before the pixie dust was a big no-no so the cauldron went BOOM! and showered the surrounding people with goop. Unfortunately, the goop was a bright pink and stained whatever it touched. And again, unfortunately Snape was in the vicinity when it went BOOM!.

"POTTER! WHAT DID YOU DO NOW!" came the bellow from the enraged Potions Master. Harry was confused as to what happened. He had been following the directions from Draco quite diligently.

"Um, I don't know Professor. I followed the instructions," Harry said defensively. Before he could get blasted by Severus and slapped with a month's worth of detention, Hermione gave a delighted shriek as her potion turned a delicate pink and puffed out a pink smoke heart.

"I believe Professor that we finished first," she said smugly. He was not happy but he couldn't go back on his word. And he thought awarding points to Potter would be gruesome. This was 1000000000000000000000x worse.

"Thirty points to the Girls," he said grudgingly. He was not happy that they won. After all, the boys side was supposed to show them who's boss. Instead, they're sitting around with donkey tails and ears, painted a bright pink. Draco was beyond angry. He glared at the hapless Harry and was quite close to attacking him.

"You idiot! You put in the ground fairy wings before you put in the pixie dust!" he snarled. "Now look what you did! My hair is pink! PINK! I HATE pink! My beautiful hair is PINK!" Harry could only watch dejectedly as Draco stormed away, furious at the Boy-Who-Lived. Blaise winced in sympathy even as she was rolling around the ground laughing at the bright pink boys. She then noticed the cat-got-the-canary smile on Granger's face and guessed what happened.

"Well, well, well Granger. Didn't know you had it in you." Was all she could say at the victorious girl. "But, you ruined part one of Operation Get-Harry-And-Malfoy-Together (aka Get-Draco-To-FINALLY-Admit-His-Repressed-Feelings-For-The-Bloody-Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Die). At least there will be part two!" She beamed and bounced away to the Great Hall for lunch. Sadly, part two, three, four, and five would all be fruitless as Draco was still very angry at Harry and would stay angry all day long. So none of the parts were put into action. After all, it is rather difficult to initiate her plan when one person was missing from the equation.

* * *

"I blame Granger." Was all she said as she glared at the fire. The fire couldn't help but quiver in fear at the thought of being the focus of all that anger. "It's her fault Draco's mad and he'll stay mad for a bit. Doesn't anyone know that Draco can hold grudges like no other! And he's putting his avoidance technique into action!" She huffed and went back to glaring into the fire. "Stupid Granger and her stupid idea. Now they'll never get together!" came the wail.

* * *

-in the Boys side-

Harry was sitting by the fireplace as he stared forlornly at the flames. The boys had finally managed, all to the efforts of Terry Boot, to get the donkey ears and tails off them but that didn't matter to Harry. Unfortunately, they were still pink and would remain pink for a couple of days. But Harry didn't notice. Oh no, he was too depressed at how he managed to get Draco mad at him again. And things had been going so well during Potions! But after that incident, Draco had avoided him like crazy. "He hates me Ron." was all he could say. Ron just grunted, distracted by his chess pieces and his 'plan'.

"Buck up mate," Seamus said, consolingly. "I'm sure he'll come around. After all, it wasn't your fault. It was Hermione's. And I'm sure he'll forgive you when he finds out. At least you still have dinner so you could work things out. After all, he can't avoid you there." Seamus felt rather bad for Harry. Ron was too into getting revenge against the Girls, Dean was too busy wondering how his relationship with Ginny would fare after all this, and Neville was moping because Trevor was missing again. No one was able to help Harry except for him. Before he could suggest a plan of attack, he was interrupted by the jubilant bellow of a happy Ron.

"I got it! I have the perfect plan to get back at those Harpies! Now all we have to do is put it into motion!" Ron yelled excitedly. "Gather around all of you. This is what we're going to do..."

* * *

Please R&R! And thanks to all those who have reviewed...you don't know how much I appreciated them! 


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